My friend Isidor of Sevilla sent me this joke:
if my answer is "to be or not to be", what is your question?
Your question is "The square root of 4 b squared please?"
Another joke
Regole del forum
Collegamenti al regolamento del forum in varie lingue ed alle norme sulla privacy in italiano.
Collegamenti al regolamento del forum in varie lingue ed alle norme sulla privacy in italiano.
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babatriestina
- senator
- Messaggi: 41466
- Iscritto il: dom 25 dic 2005, 19:29
- Località: Trieste, Borgo Teresiano
On the same theme
If my answer is "SMILES" what, what is your question ?
Your question is "What is the longest word in the English language?"
The explanation? There is a mile between the first and last letter
Your question is "What is the longest word in the English language?"
The explanation? There is a mile between the first and last letter
As a British soldier, I was stationed in the Trieste area from October 1945 until January 1947
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Tirabaralla
- citadin
- Messaggi: 951
- Iscritto il: lun 2 gen 2006, 16:49
- Località: Firenze
Enjoy !
FOR ALL WHO READ AND RIGHT
We will begin with a box and the plural is boxes, but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen? If I spoke with my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
Let’s face it, English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England. We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? Don’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometime, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. If dad is Pop, how come Mum isn’t Mop? And people drive on parkways and park on driveways.
Author unknown or is knot known?
We will begin with a box and the plural is boxes, but the plural of ox became oxen not oxes. One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese, yet the plural of moose should never be meese. You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, yet the plural of house is houses, not hice. If the plural of man is always called men, why shouldn’t the plural of pan be called pen? If I spoke with my foot and show you my feet, and I give you a boot, would a pair be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose, and the plural of cat is cats, not cose. We speak of a brother and also of brethren, but though we say mother, we never say methren. Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine, she, shis and shim.
Let’s face it, English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger, neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented in England. We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham? Don’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometime, I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on. If dad is Pop, how come Mum isn’t Mop? And people drive on parkways and park on driveways.
Author unknown or is knot known?
Just received by a friend of ours. Forgive me, Larry, but it's too amusing.
MILLIONAIRE
A contestant, Sally, on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached
the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she
would win a million dollars ($1,000,000.00). If she answered
incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money.
And as she suspected the Million Dollar Question was no pushover.
It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own
nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it:
A) the condor
B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo
D) the vulture
The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. She had
used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline... All that
remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. She hoped she would not
have to use it because ... her friend was, well, a blonde. But she had no
alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the
four choices.
The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C:
the cuckoo."
The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She
considered employing a reverse strategy and giving any answer except
the one that her friend had given her. And considering her friend was a
blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend
had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the
contestant could not help but be convinced.
Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."
"Is that your final answer?"
"Yes, that is my final answer."
"That answer is Absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!"
Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and
friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million
dollars.
"Mary, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant.
"How did you happen to know the right answer?"
"Oh, come on," said the blonde. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't
build nests. They live in clocks."
Sally fainted.
MILLIONAIRE
A contestant, Sally, on "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" had reached
the final plateau. If she answered the next question correctly, she
would win a million dollars ($1,000,000.00). If she answered
incorrectly, she would pocket only the $25,000 milestone money.
And as she suspected the Million Dollar Question was no pushover.
It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its own
nest, but instead lays its eggs in the nests of other birds? Is it:
A) the condor
B) the buzzard
C) the cuckoo
D) the vulture
The woman was on the spot. She did not know the answer. She had
used up her 50/50 Lifeline and her Ask the Audience Lifeline... All that
remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. She hoped she would not
have to use it because ... her friend was, well, a blonde. But she had no
alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the
four choices.
The blonde responded unhesitatingly: "That's easy. The answer is C:
the cuckoo."
The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She
considered employing a reverse strategy and giving any answer except
the one that her friend had given her. And considering her friend was a
blonde that would seem to be the logical thing to do. But her friend
had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the
contestant could not help but be convinced.
Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, "C: The cuckoo."
"Is that your final answer?"
"Yes, that is my final answer."
"That answer is Absolutely correct! You are now a millionaire!"
Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and
friends, including the blonde who had helped her win the million
dollars.
"Mary, I just do not know how to thank you," said the contestant.
"How did you happen to know the right answer?"
"Oh, come on," said the blonde. "Everybody knows that cuckoos don't
build nests. They live in clocks."
Sally fainted.
[i]Liliana[/i]
- . - . -
[size=75][i]"Quando comincia una guerra, la prima vittima è la Verità.
Quando la guerra finisce, le bugie dei vinti sono smascherate,
quelle dei vincitori, diventano Storia."
(A. Petacco - La nostra guerra)[/size][/i]
- . - . -
[size=75][i]"Quando comincia una guerra, la prima vittima è la Verità.
Quando la guerra finisce, le bugie dei vinti sono smascherate,
quelle dei vincitori, diventano Storia."
(A. Petacco - La nostra guerra)[/size][/i]
